My 2017 Year of Travel

This year, I must admit, I travelled more than I ever have before. Most probably because it’s also my final year in medical school ever = final year of freedom from real responsibilities. I even reached my 50th country! Without further ado, here’s my 2017 Year of Travel.

Previous Year of Travel posts: My 2015 year of travel and My 2016 year of travel

All photos are from my Instagram.

1.  Began the New Year in the Big Apple

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPfCB83gnT1/?taken-by=samvsworld

2. Attended my very first Indian wedding in Leicester, UK

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPxCyl0gLdH/?taken-by=samvsworld

3. Seeing good old friends in London a month later

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRLseNdFkTL/?taken-by=samvsworld

4. Watching beautiful sunsets in Boracay, Philippines

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRzm33wl1PE/?taken-by=samvsworld

5. Interned as Dr. Sam in Philippine General Hospital, realising how grateful I am to live in a country like Sweden

https://www.instagram.com/p/BST8jMylOj2/?taken-by=samvsworld

6. Represented my choir and sang with hundreds of other choir singers around the Nordic region in Oulu, Finland

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTwhdTpF3Yp/?taken-by=samvsworld

7. Passed by Tallinn, Estonia for a weekend

https://www.instagram.com/p/BVRvk0FBKl9/?taken-by=samvsworld

8. Learnt how to scuba dive in Subic, Philippines

https://www.instagram.com/p/BV2AfINhbs7/?taken-by=samvsworld

9. Rode a kalesa in Vigan, Philippines

https://www.instagram.com/p/BWkW8tABKJL/?taken-by=samvsworld

10. Discovered beautiful natural springs in Bicol, Philippines

https://www.instagram.com/p/BWzIG_2BI6N/?taken-by=samvsworld

11. Made a quick trip to Hong Kong Disneyland

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXII6O1BSh3/?taken-by=samvsworld

12. Visited paradise in Pangasinan, Philippines

https://www.instagram.com/p/BXrHtKghWuU/?taken-by=samvsworld

13. A quick stop over in my paradise home in Subic for a few days

https://www.instagram.com/p/BafrhmVBf9I/?taken-by=samvsworld

14. After a quick stop over in Subic, I got to sit in the cockpit of an airplane for the first time ever!

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bag9B2iBMKk/?taken-by=samvsworld

15. Escaped winter and interned at the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne, Australia for four weeks

https://www.instagram.com/p/BbpJcLoB5_Y/?taken-by=samvsworld

16. Got to finally dive the Great Barrier Reef in Cairns, Australia

https://www.instagram.com/p/BbMF_NpB3Kn/?taken-by=samvsworld

17. Made a quick stop over and explored Singapore for a few hours

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bby__TmhyfD/?taken-by=samvsworld

18. Returned to Philippine General Hospital for my final rotation and delivered my first baby!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BccCX8Shm4r/?taken-by=samvsworld

19. Finally got to see the beautiful Hundred Islands in Pangasinan Philippines with Jonas straight from the airport

https://www.instagram.com/p/BdPd8UTB-Ob/?taken-by=samvsworld

20. Happily ending this year and starting the next, with this guy by my side in the country of my birth ❤

https://www.instagram.com/p/BdRNoJOhgR1/?taken-by=samvsworld

PHEW! That was a long list. Definitely the longest ever. It was a good year of travel, and we’ll see where 2018 will bring us! However as now that I will start working, probably not to very far away places. But my wandering soul will forever remain.

Happy new year everyone! 😀 ❤

No man is an island (Psychiatry in Växjö)

I’m now on my final week in psychiatry in Växjö, and so far it’s been amazing. This week is a bit special though, as now I’m in Children’s Psychiatry. Otherwise during the past three weeks I’ve been in Adult Psychiatry, rotating within Emergency Psychiatry, Psychosis, Geriatric Psychiatry, General Psychiatry and lastly what I call the Psychiatric Jail. I’ve seen a great array of cases, and I think if there’s something I’ll bring from my placement, that would be that no man is an island.

Psychiatry is all about relationships. Well, for the main part anyway except for perhaps the cases of schizophrenia, autism etc. Otherwise, it’s all about relationships.

Relationships with your family, with your partner and of course with yourself.

When I was in the Emergency Psychiatry clinic on Valentine’s day, we all of a sudden saw a rise of emergency bookings compared to the day before. 10 patients vs the 2 yesterday on a Monday. It’s just a regular Tuesday I thought, but nope. It’s Valentine’s Day. The next day, only one patient came to the clinic.

Patients came in with depression which started from their divorce and/or patients coming in with suicidal thoughts from failed relationships. I thought to myself, this must be because of the holiday. If you’re surrounded by things that will constantly remind you about love, loved ones and relationships, if you don’t feel loved, it’s not too surprising if you would do something crazy on Valentine’s day.

As humans, we have a strong sense of belonging. Sure, being strong and independent is a quality to be desired and to strive for, but being independent doesn’t mean one is alone. Being independent means you are in control of yourself and your surroundings. With surroundings, I don’t only mean the things around us, but also with whom we live our lives with. Because it is through these people we feel like we belong and we gain purpose. It is through these people we find a home. And a home is a place where we feel loved.

When I meet these patients in the clinic, it saddens me that they are deprived of a home where they feel like they belong, a place where they receive love. If these basic needs were met, I believe a majority of these patients wouldn’t be here in the first place. If they have a place where they feel love, it will be easier for them to have love within them for themselves. And with self-love comes our power as human beings. Without power, what are we then?

It’s true what they say, love makes the world go around. Love is the answer. I believe this is more true than ever in psychiatry. Sure, as doctors we can give medication to try and help their situations, but if they don’t have that love within, medication is only a band-aid. If they haven’t nurtured a love within, with the help of others’ love for them, then they definitely need it now. In the end, no man is an island.

…But then again, what the heck what do I know, I’m only a student ✌️️

5 lessons I learnt from failure

For my entire life, I have never failed an exam. Study or no study, somehow, I’ve been lucky with exams. I have always taken pride in my ability to have a perfect pass record and my high marks. Failure, has never been an option neither a possibility for me. Then I came to Linköping and I failed my first exam ever. Twice.

I was devastated. For a long time, I questioned my abilities. How have I managed so far when I can’t even pass an exam, even after redoing it? I was discouraged, and all of a sudden, my belief in my natural superpower of doing well in exams was gone. Countless tears were shed and I was crushed inside. Then I thought, perhaps I made the worst mistake of my life by transferring to medical school in Sweden. I doubted myself and my decision.

I felt like a failure. I felt unworthy of staying in medical school in Linköping if I couldn’t even pass this exam after another try. Nevertheless, I persevered. I listened to my friends who told me that it’s okay to fail, and it’s understandable. You’ve never studied in Swedish and this is your first time taking an exam in Linköping and in Swedish they said. I held on to that thought for the entire of last semester, with the fear of being put on academic probation in the back of my head. I retook the exam once again in January, and I passed. Third time’s a charm.

Failing, was definitely a tough experience to go through, but I believe that it is a valuable experience to have. After all, we learn from our mistakes right? Failure is the best teacher.

 

5 LESSONS FAILURE TAUGHT ME

1. Failure doesn’t define you, but rather what you do about it afterwards

I had this idea that by failing, I will always be marked as a failure. Something that will continue to haunt me for the rest of my life. I was wrong. After failing, no one seems to remember that I failed, but only remember the fact that I passed. Looking at successful people in the world, like Bill Gates and Michael Jordan. Are they remembered for dropping out of college or not making it to their basketball team? Nope, they are only remembered for what they had achieved afterwards.

smooth save gymnastics girl on bar

2. Failure is simply an opportunity for growth

After finding out that I had failed, I repeated to myself of how I knew nothing. I beat myself about it, telling myself how stupid I was that nothing had gone in my head during my entire time studying. When I got to see my score, I found out that I was only 3 points away from passing. The second time, 4 points away (wrong way I know).

Failing doesn’t mean that one isn’t capable of succeeding, but rather one isn’t there just yet. 3 points away to be precise in my case. In this case, one is given the opportunity to continue developing using the lessons learnt from one’s failure, so that one in the end one can reach one’s goal in the best way possible.

you can dust it off and try again aliyah gif

3. If your friends and family believe in you, so should you

When I had failed, my friends and family kept telling me nonchalantly, oh don’t worry you’ll make it next time. I kept saying I would do my best, but I already had failed twice so my statistics looked grim. How come my friends and family trusted my abilities so much but I didn’t? Once passing, I was over the moon, and then they told me that they told me so.

If I had believed in what my friends and family said, I would’ve saved myself all the mental anguish and anxieties from the fear of failing yet again. There really is a strength in faith, especially faith in oneself. If they didn’t believe in me, who knows if I would’ve passed if I didn’t even believe that I would. The first step in doing something is believing one can accomplish it right?

child saying you have got to believe in yourself gif giphy

4. Not reaching one’s own expectations doesn’t make one a failure

I expected myself to have gone through medical school without failing a single exam, and on the time I expected myself to finish. I was supposed to be a graduated doctor by 23, with a perfect academic record. I’m graduating at 24, in Sweden, with a few failed exams here and there. Does that make me a worse doctor? Does that make me a failure? Nope, in the end I will still become a doctor, which is my goal in the first place. With a lot more experience than I had expected to graduate with.

arrested development i don't know what I expected

5. Failing is not the end of the world

You failed, so what. Life goes on. In the words of my favourite prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

In other words, better luck next time!

i'm rooting for you patrick star spongebob gif

5 uniquely British medical practices

I’ll be blunt and admit that I don’t really have a lot of exciting things to tell from the hospital after my placements. I think my placement in medical emergency is a tough one to beat. However recently, I’ve been remembering all these medical practices that was everyday for me in the UK, which now actually seems completely alien to me. I’m converting. There’s a lot that comes to mind, but for starters, here’s a list of five uniquely British medical practices.

1. Clinical wear is basically formal wear

For doctors, clinical wear entails shirt/trousers (NOT JEANS) for men and shirt/blouse/skirt/trousers (again NOT JEANS) for women. Nice flat dress shoes for both genders. Yes, this practice is extremely questionable hygiene-wise, as you come to work with the same clothes you will be wearing the whole day at the hospital, but there is some reasoning behind this.

The medical practice in the UK wanted to take a step away from the hierarchical system by abolishing the white coat and scrubs for doctors. There shouldn’t be anything to distinguish a doctor from a patient appearance-wise, as in the end they’re both people. This is so that there will be no “us and them” mentality between the doctors and the patients, and hopefully, doctors become more approachable during patient contact. It’s a nice thought I guess, and perhaps the prevalence of “white coat syndrome” has diminished over the years. However hygiene-wise once again, questionable.

homer gif giphy saying why so formal lenny you're my go to guy

2. Only black or white shoes are allowed to be worn in the hospital

The professional clinical look in British standards is to be somewhat uniform. Black or white shoes are to be worn as they are more professional. No bright colourful sneakers were allowed. However, I was always jealous of my sister and the bright colourful sneakers she wore around the hospitals in Sweden. So I never listened and decided to rebel and wear my bright orange sneakers. Did I get looks? Yes. Did I get scolded? Sometimes. But boy did I get compliments from patients – “I like your bright orange sneakers, you’re hard to miss in this hospital!” At least I was remembered for my fashion sense.

3. Some doctors wear bow ties or tucked-in ties

As an attempt to improve hospital hygiene, it was implemented that anything hanging around one’s neck is not allowed to be worn in the hospital. Including neck ties. This angered many doctors, as they viewed it to be a crucial part of their professional clinical wear. Therefore they came up with a compromise. Some switched to wearing bow ties, whereas others decided to keep wearing neck ties but started tucking the end of their neck ties inside their shirt. Works I guess.

bow tie from sing movie

4. British hospitals only use black pens

If you look around a British hospital, you will only find black pens and no other colour. I recall being scolded when in the hospital once for taking notes with a blue pen. They told me – how would colour blind people be able to read what I’m writing? I assured them that the notes were only for me to see, and afterwards I had to promise to never use my blue pen again. Since that day, I only brought black pens to the hospital. Yes, it is a rule in British hospitals that you are only allowed to use black pens so that everyone can read what you write, including those who are colour blind.

blue colour blind pen screaming gif giphy

5. You address surgeons as Mr/Mrs/Ms and DEFINITELY not Dr.

“Dr. McCloy… Oh sorry, I mean Mr. McCloy!”

I bet it’s probably only in the UK where some doctors would take offense if you call them Dr. Why you might wonder, which is a pretty good question. As told perfectly in this article, during the origins of surgery around the 18th century, surgeons back then did not possess any formal qualifications let alone a medical degree to be able to hold the title Dr. They were sometimes compared to butchers, and doctors were definitely more superior. However as times have changed, the status of surgeons have risen and thus have become so proud to distinguish themselves from doctors. Today in British hospitals, being called Mr or Mrs/Ms is a badge of honour and could only mean one thing – and that is that you’re a surgeon.
they call me mr tibbs gif giphy

What do you tell someone who’s about to die?

(Disclaimer: I received verbal consent from my patient to share about my experience with him.)

This week I’ve been at the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, and nothing has challenged me more physically, mentally and emotionally during a placement.

At the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit, many patients come in after suffering heart attacks. They are in critical need of care, where many patients are vulnerable and are fighting to stay alive… and the healthcare team fighting to keep them alive.

The week began quite calmly, which gave me lots of reading time, but since yesterday and especially today, I’ve been running.

Running. Trying to learn and help out during critical situations, but mainly trying to keep out of the way. Running to wherever the alarm rings. Another patient is dying. Every second counts.

Yesterday, in the midst of a flurry of doctors and nurses trying to save another patient from a cardiac arrest, everyone leaves the room to discuss. At this point, several life-saving electric shocks had been given, and I was there to witness them all. Even seeing the patient in pain.

I tried fighting my tears as I realise, I don’t like seeing patients in pain. And I really wish I don’t ever have to. But there I was.

I was left alone in the room with the patient and I take their hand to comfort them. The patient then looks at me straight in the eyes and tells me:

Jag kommer nu.” – “I’m coming now.”

Coming. Coming to a place beyond us. Coming to death. Coming to what I like to believe, life after death. Coming to Heaven.

I was silent, again fighting my tears. I look straight back not knowing what to say. What do you tell someone who knows they’re about to die, and you know it too? What do you tell someone who’s about to die?

*

This question wracked my brain until the next day. Could I have said anything to improve the situation? What if that really was the last chance I got to talk to them? What if I was the last person they spoke to, and I couldn’t even say a word?

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. After a rough night and morning of more emergency interventions, the patient is alive and recovering. I finished my day early and decided to pass by the patient’s room to talk to them. It didn’t really feel right for me to leave for the weekend, not knowing whether they will be okay or not when I return. I waited for their room to be free, came in, and in the end I stayed for over an hour chatting. At the end of it they took my hand and told me:

“You have an important duty to pass on your genes to the next generation and I hope you have many children… but be careful with your choice!”

I promised I will, and in return I made them promise they will be around when I come back after the weekend.

As a medical student, I usually joke that another day at the hospital is another life saved, but now I realised this is not a joke at all. As healthcare workers, we are given the unique opportunity to make great changes in people’s lives, and sometimes even save a life. However at times, we are also there as they take their last breath. Being prepared for both scenarios would make the best impact on people’s lives and today, I realised I still have a lot left to learn.

heart ECG tracing recording

 

On being a young researcher

Since the age of 16, I have known my way around a research lab and understand research jargon. I have familiarised myself with the research life, where everything you do is highly dependent on your cells (your babies) and the experiments you do with them. You never leave your experiment without a timer and when it rings, RUN. Otherwise that experiment you’ve paid thousands for and have been working on for the entire week would’ve been all for nothing. Or when you successfully get your results and realise that you’ve contaminated the sample?… There can be no greater research pain. It’s happened to all of us, and I know that you who are reading this who have done research before can relate.

Call me doctor Sam first lab internship as a 16-year old at Stockholm University

Self-proclaimed nerd since 2010, at my first lab internship as a 16-year old at Stockholm University

However there is one thing that has been harder to get used to. In every research group I have been in, I have always been the youngest.

As a high school student and later medical student in my early years, it was hard for me to enter a group of people who were in average normally 10 years older. All incredibly intelligent, talented and experienced, not only in what they were working with but in life too. They were in much different stages in their lives than I was. Married with their own families, sometimes with children my age. They had their lives established already with fancy titles beside their names…. and I was always just Sam.

 

I often felt lonely. How could I relate to these people? These people who are all so amazing, how could I match with them? I always looked up to them, and was often intimidated. Would I even be able to say anything smart and mature for them to see me as a peer? I didn’t want to risk it, so most of the time I just sat quietly and did my work until the day was over. Until now.

Since February, I have belonged to a research group in Linköping University working on colorectal cancer. Two days ago, I have finally signed my contract as a Research Engineer for the university. In my research group, I’m the only one without a Dr. title in front of my name – where all are medical doctors with years of experience (doctors/surgeons with MDPhDs mainly) except for my project partner who’s a postdoc from medical sciences, which is why they paired me with him. Two days ago, I found out that he has photographic (eidetic) memory.

 

Yes, I have asked myself several times – what am I doing here. If there is one group that I should feel most intimidated by, it would be this one. But rather, I could have never asked for a better group to work in. Despite being the least qualified in the group, somehow, I still feel that I belong. It was only in this group where I realised that if amazing, talented colleagues of mine see me as a peer and believe that I can contribute and belong to the group, I should believe so too.

Being surrounded by intelligent people on an everyday basis is definitely a humbling experience. Like before, I still often feel small, but now instead of questioning my own abilities, I ask my colleagues about theirs. I am given the unique opportunity to learn from the best, for me to improve my own abilities. I get inspired to dare to dream for my own ambitions, from those who already are exceeding theirs.

I have been blessed with amazing colleagues who I am looking forward to working with for the year(s) to come. They taught me that having big crazy dreams is good, because they do too. So together we dream and work for something as crazy as even finding the cure for cancer. Who knows, maybe someday we will!

dinner in 1853 eating italian food like pizza in linköping with my research lab colleagues

Introducing my research group from our dinner at 1853 in Linköping! Dr. everyone but me 😀 

The news of Brexit is finally hitting me

Yesterday, my newsfeed was filled with news of my friends’ graduations from St Andrews (it’s graduation week over there), midsummer photos from my friends in Sweden and lastly of course, the EU referendum results. What was supposed to be a happy day, was tainted with sadness with the news of the UK leaving the EU.
 
I must admit however, my initial reaction to the results was a somewhat relief, as it further affirmed my decision of leaving the UK. But with the news following the result like the resignation of David Cameron and the crash of the pound, I cannot help but worry about the unpredictable future of the UK. However now that the results are set, we can only hope that the political leaders will steer this result into a mutual positive outcome for both the UK and the EU.
 
Two years ago, I graduated from the most amazing university in the world: the University of St Andrews, Scotland. St Andrews was a university filled with tradition and world-class teaching, attracting students from all over the world. From my time there, I believed that the UK was a welcoming country of opportunity, which valued ambition and talent. Please, let the future international students like myself and other professionals feel as welcome as I did. Please, don’t change 💔
me on my graduation day with a BSc Medicine (Hons) from the School of medicine in St Andrews Scotland

Me on my graduation day with a BSc Medicine (Hons) from the School of Medicine in St Andrews, Scotland

 

 

Revision Week vs Tenta-P

I can’t believe it. I just finished my first medical school exams in Sweden. I’M FREE!!! 😀

So I just underwent my first “Tenta-P” (Tenta = exam, P = period) aka revision week followed by exams. I must say, it is very different from my past revision weeks in the UK (at least in St Andrews). Here are a few reasons why.

Revision week – UK; Tenta-P – Sweden

Also, see my previous blog post on Being a medical student in the UK vs Sweden.

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1. Tentagrupp/exam study groups

Revision week: Your exam grade depends on the normal distribution of how the rest of the class does on the same exam. Owing to this competitive nature, preparing for the exams tend to get competitive as well.  You’re on your own, good luck!

Tenta-P: This is probably the best thing about Tenta-P. It’s more social, and you’re not alone. Most join a tentagrupp or an exam study group (including myself) where you meet everyday to go over topics and past exam questions according to your revision week schedule. It’s basically a way to keep yourself (and each other!) motivated and on track, since you know you have to go through the topic before you meet the rest!

community study group group work gif

2. Previous exam questions

Revision week: As previous exam questions tend to get reused, the medical school don’t provide a database with previous exams. Knowing this however, students of previous years collectively made their own “previous exam database.” After one’s exam, one writes all the questions one could remember that came up, to share to the coming students the following year (thug life). This document is constantly growing and is being secretly passed down year after year like an heirloom.

Tenta-P: On our internal school website, we have a database of previous exams (from several years ago up to the one from last semester) available for us to study on, including answers. The questions also have a tendency to be reused, so there were many moments when I was beaming during the exam – that meant I had seen that question before.

simpsons happy paper writing gif

3. I’m still on Facebook

Revision week: Every revision week every semester, I usually deactivate my Facebook to minimise my procrastination and hopefully increase my concentration. My friends were used to this so as revision week approaches, they would normally ask me when I plan to take my Facebook down – and make sure they have my number so I’m reachable.

Tenta-P: I didn’t close down any of my social media accounts, instead I even added another one – Jodel. It proved to be quite a fun method of procrastination.

4. More space to study

Revision week: Back in St Andrews, we only had one central university library for all 9000 students. One could say that it definitely was not big enough to fit us all. Especially during revision week. Once, I walked around the library for over an hour trying to find a space with no luck – I just ended up going home. To be fair though, it was also a form of procrastination since you see everyone there during revision week, as everyone take their exams at the same time. Because of this, an early version of Jodel and Tinder combined begun called Spotted at St Andrews Library, where students could post about their library crush anonymously. Procrastination at its best.

Tenta-P: There are several study spaces across campus and I studied in my campus which is part of the university hospital area. To my surprise, I never had a hard time to find a spot to study, and I still seemed to see my fellow medic friends at the medical school. Where do they come from? Where do everyone else study? Wherever they may be, I’m definitely happy they left me a spot to study at the medical school anyway.

5. I’m actually sleeping

Revision week: At first, I would set some alarms at about 6/7am to make sure I wake up and study. After a while, my body gets used to waking up so early, that I don’t need an alarm clock anymore, regardless of the time I go to bed the day before. My body gets used to the 5h a day sleep routine. However, when it’s an extra harsh study day, I can’t afford 5h of sleep. That’s when the caffeine pills come in. Believe it or not, all-nighters with the right company are actually quite fun!

Tenta-P: I never had an alarm during the entire time and I think I got about 7h sleep each night. I never pulled an all-nighter nor took my typical caffeine pills to help me study. I feel so much healthier – and definitely more well-rested.

6. Packed lunches

Revision week: Bringing food to university isn’t really a thing in the UK – well at least in St Andrews as there are no microwaves in campus. So during study breaks from the library, you go to a fast food place and get take out, or to a nice restaurant to eat. Considering one could get a three-course meal from Jahangir (my favourite Indian place ever) for £5 (at the time about 50kr), it wasn’t really a big deal eating out everyday. Which definitely explains why most of us gain weight during revision week. For example, a friend of mine gained over 3kg from eating take out pizza everyday during revision week. But pizza is bae so it’s okay ❤

Tenta-P: To save time, you prepare your packed lunches for the entire week you will be spending in the library during tenta-P, and keep them in the fridge. Then you bring them one by one, and eat with your fellow medic classmates with their packed lunches at the medical school. You end up eating the same thing everyday but who cares, it’s revision week. And definitely more economical (#studentlife). Thank God for microwaves in campus.

7. One doesn’t study in the evening

Revision week: As previously mentioned, late night studying and all-nighters is a thing back in the UK. I used to do at least one all-nighter every revision week and mastered the 5min nap. Literally, I’d put my head down and my friend would time me, but I would automatically get up after 5min anyway and keep going. Also, it’s so much calmer in the evening hence so much easier to concentrate!

Tenta-P: In general, the medical school clears out around 5/6pm during tenta-P. I tend to study more effectively during the evening, so I usually stay on until nearly midnight. Which is apparently unheard of as most during this time are at home relaxing – or better yet sleeping – after the day’s study schedule. I often wished I was them.

sheldon cooper from big bang theory gif all nighter don't need sleep need answers

8. I’m actually doing other things apart from studying

Revision week: Life is wake up, study, eat while studying, sleep (if you can), study. Breaks every now and then if you deserve it. Repeat.

Tenta-P: So my friend Arianne from St Andrews came to visit over the weekend (yes, the few days before the exam), and I also celebrated a friend’s graduation back home in Stockholm. Arianne was a regular revision week study buddy of mine back in St Andrews, and I must say she was quite surprised by how “normal” I was. Not sleep deprived, not talking medical jargon to myself and lastly, not too stressed to not have a good time out!

9. The fear of failing

Revision week: In the UK, passing is not the difficult part and passing is not enough. You need to get a good grade as well because the better you get, the better it will be for you later. Also, your grade once again depends on the normal distribution of your class’ results. The fear was never about passing, so in a way I never had the anxiety of failing. Rather, the fear was getting a bad grade.

Tenta-P: The day before my exam, I had the biggest pre-exam anxiety ever. So bad I even had to go to church to calm myself down – God was the only one who could help me now. As we don’t receive grades but just a pass or fail on our exams, the fear was on passing as there’s nothing else to aim for unlike before. 65% total minimum was the goal, otherwise you gotta come back in August to do the resits!

spongebob rips in half gif

10. Meh, I’ll just do the resits

Revision week: If you fail an exam, you have one chance of redoing it during the summer. No matter how well you do on the resit, the maximum grade you can get is a pass. Also, it will state on your academic transcript upon graduation that you had to do a resit. If you fail the second time however, you need to repeat the year – touch luck! In other words the mentality is: failure is not an option.

Tenta-P: Once I overcame my pre-exam anxiety of failing, I accepted the fact that I know what I know and I can simply only do my best during the exam. I accepted my highly likely fate of returning for a resit in August. I listened to my friends’ advice who have this embedded within them – doing a resit is not the end of the world. At least the information will be fresh in your mind when the next semester starts! Meh if I fail, whatever there’s always next time 🙂

cat rolling psh whateva whatever i'm out gif

Time for summer vacation. Ehh, Linköping see you during resits in August? 😂

Thank God May is over – tenta-p!

May has been such a crazy month. Let me summarise my month in bullet points:

  • I got operated on at the end of April/beginning of May
  • I underwent post-op hell
  • I moved three times with my newly operated arm
  • My phone got stolen

Oh and of course, I’m a medical student + researcher on top of that. Now May is coming to an end which means soon summer vacation, but before that even sooner, EXAMS.

Normally during what I used to call revision week in the UK but here tenta-p, I would turn off all social medias (especially Facebook), pull all-nighters with the help of caffeine pills and stop eating. However it seems like it’s not the case here in Sweden. My friends even had plans to do things during the exam period. Much healthier I’d say.

Nevertheless, I have my game face on. I’m gonna study everything I need to know, and I’m gonna pass these exams. Until then, wish me luck guys!

Primärvård (primary care) placement – done!

 

During one of my first lectures during my first year of medical school, our lecturer asked how many of us in my class wanted to be surgeons. More than half of the room raised their hands up including myself. Afterwards our lecturer asked how many of us wanted to be general practitioners/family practice doctors/distriktsläkare. About five people raised their hands up. I wasn’t one of them.

Why is it that primary care is often perceived as one of the “lower,” “less interesting,” “boring” specialities? Statistically, more than half of all medical students in a class end up in primary care in the end. I guess people eventually realise how great the specialty is, after one overcomes the social stigma of the “super-shiny” status of surgeons and other specialists. And there is a high demand for primary care doctors too of course.

Here are some examples of the privileges of working in primary care:

  1. You do medicine, surgery and other different types of treatment approaches on a daily basis so it’s hard to get bored
  2. Patients come in with literally any symptom possible, and it’s up to you to decide which system they belong to – exciting detective work
  3. You really get to personally know your patients and their families through the years, as families tend to stay within the same practice/clinic/Vårdcentral
  4. It’s easier to plan your time and time-offs as the patients are not acutely ill
  5. NORMAL OFFICE WORKING HOURS – what night shifts?
  6. It’s very well paid, especially in rural areas

I could definitely see myself pursuing primary care in the future with those perks.

I have been in Värnamo for my primary care placement for the past two weeks and absolutely loved it. It’s such a varied specialty with all sorts of patients, you never knew what people would come in with as they walked through the door. And they always have the most amazing stories to tell. Definitely far from boring, which most have an understanding of primary care to be.

This is my fourth primary care placement ever, after three 4-week placements in the UK. Because of this I wasn’t really looking forward to this placement thinking it’s a repetition of the past. But this has been the best placement I have ever had so far.

The people have been most welcoming (like amazingly welcoming, they even hugged my goodbye!), even giving me an office for both weeks to make sure that I felt like a part of the team/family. I was given lots of responsibilities, and they really pushed me to my abilities. Everyone has been super friendly, even have driven me home sometimes and had coffee or fika outside the clinic! I’m sure these experiences I gained here I will have use for throughout my career.

Värnamo, thank you very much for an amazing two-week placement in primary care. My four-week tour around Småland is now over, and I can finally return to Linköping. No more travelling, I can finally settle back in my new home in Linköping until the summer.

See you soon Linköping, I’ve missed you! 🙂

Samuelle Valles name outside office door for patients to come in. Red light showing that I am inside or busy. Upptaget in Swedish. Being a medical student or läkarstudent/läkarkandidat in Linköping is fun!

Closed the door to my office for the last time. See you my-name-by-the-door again soon when I finally can call myself Dr. Sam!