No man is an island (Psychiatry in Växjö)

I’m now on my final week in psychiatry in Växjö, and so far it’s been amazing. This week is a bit special though, as now I’m in Children’s Psychiatry. Otherwise during the past three weeks I’ve been in Adult Psychiatry, rotating within Emergency Psychiatry, Psychosis, Geriatric Psychiatry, General Psychiatry and lastly what I call the Psychiatric Jail. I’ve seen a great array of cases, and I think if there’s something I’ll bring from my placement, that would be that no man is an island.

Psychiatry is all about relationships. Well, for the main part anyway except for perhaps the cases of schizophrenia, autism etc. Otherwise, it’s all about relationships.

Relationships with your family, with your partner and of course with yourself.

When I was in the Emergency Psychiatry clinic on Valentine’s day, we all of a sudden saw a rise of emergency bookings compared to the day before. 10 patients vs the 2 yesterday on a Monday. It’s just a regular Tuesday I thought, but nope. It’s Valentine’s Day. The next day, only one patient came to the clinic.

Patients came in with depression which started from their divorce and/or patients coming in with suicidal thoughts from failed relationships. I thought to myself, this must be because of the holiday. If you’re surrounded by things that will constantly remind you about love, loved ones and relationships, if you don’t feel loved, it’s not too surprising if you would do something crazy on Valentine’s day.

As humans, we have a strong sense of belonging. Sure, being strong and independent is a quality to be desired and to strive for, but being independent doesn’t mean one is alone. Being independent means you are in control of yourself and your surroundings. With surroundings, I don’t only mean the things around us, but also with whom we live our lives with. Because it is through these people we feel like we belong and we gain purpose. It is through these people we find a home. And a home is a place where we feel loved.

When I meet these patients in the clinic, it saddens me that they are deprived of a home where they feel like they belong, a place where they receive love. If these basic needs were met, I believe a majority of these patients wouldn’t be here in the first place. If they have a place where they feel love, it will be easier for them to have love within them for themselves. And with self-love comes our power as human beings. Without power, what are we then?

It’s true what they say, love makes the world go around. Love is the answer. I believe this is more true than ever in psychiatry. Sure, as doctors we can give medication to try and help their situations, but if they don’t have that love within, medication is only a band-aid. If they haven’t nurtured a love within, with the help of others’ love for them, then they definitely need it now. In the end, no man is an island.

…But then again, what the heck what do I know, I’m only a student ✌️️

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Sometimes (original) – Valentines 2017

Aaaaaaand it’s that time of the year again. Valentine’s day – or more like Single Awareness Day (SAD) in my case. As per tradition, I write a song every Valentine’s reflecting my current relationship status. Basically, it’s to show where I am in terms of my love life to those who ask lol.

Now that I’m nearing the end of my medical studies, and I guess now that I’m coming to that age as well, being asked why I’m still single is something that comes more frequently than I’d like to admit.

Here are some examples of things I hear:

“Sam, you should prioritise your love life too!”

“Have you found anyone yet? Remember ___? He’s single and I think you guys would be great for each other!”

“You have an important duty to spread your genes to the world.”

Well sure, there may be some truth in all those statements… but why the rush? As a response to all those asking me why I’m still single, here’s a song I wrote called “Sometimes,” which sheds a light on my current stance in this topic.

Hope you all had a better Valentine’s Day that I did – note to self, Valentine’s day is probably one of the worst days to work at an emergency psychiatric clinic. But someone’s got to right?

Hope you all felt the love on Valentine’s Day! ❤

My previous Valentine’s Day songs:

2016: Single Awareness Day, Again
2015: Valentine
2014: Single Awareness Day
2013: You 
2012: A song for you – my Valentine’s day songwriting tradition was born!

Sometimes (original) by Sam Valles – Valentine’s Day 2017

Chords:
Verses: E A C#m A B
Bridge: A E C#m A B
Chorus: E A C#m B

Lyrics:
Verse 1:
I like to think sometimes, sometimes
I like to hope sometimes, sometimes
That someday, sometime, I’ll know, I’ll be ready

I like to pray sometimes, sometimes
I like to dream sometimes, sometimes
That someone, somewhere, out there, is waiting for me

Bridge 1:
But no matter where I go and no matter where I stay
I say, no no, not today
And no matter who I meet, and no matter who I know
I say no no, even if I like him so

Chorus 1:
I guess I’m vulnerable, fighting to flee
From these feelings surrounding me
But deep inside I hope, I’ll see
That someone, somewhere, someday, will set me free

Verse 2:
I like to sing sometimes, sometimes
I like to say sometimes, sometimes
That no matter wherever, whenever, I’m better off free

But then I think sometimes, sometimes
It must be nice sometimes, sometimes
That someone, somewhere, out there, is there for me

Bridge 2:
But no matter what I do there’s a message in my head
That says, no no, don’t be mislead
And no matter what they say I will always run away
Because I’m scared, will I let them in someday

Chorus 2:
I guess I’m vulnerable admittingly
Scared of giving a piece of me
But deep inside I hope I’ll meet
That someone somewhere who’ll make me believe

But yes I’m vulnerable, but that’s not me
I believe that feelings don’t make me weak
I’m just waiting to be ready
To give me to someone who cares for me

Outro (like verse):
I like to think sometimes, sometimes
I like to dream sometimes, sometimes
That someday, someone, out there, will love me for me

 

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Single Awareness Day 2016

Let’s face it, it’s in the air. That lovey-dovey butterflies in the stomach type of feeling. Hearts everywhere, and heck, strawberries are on a deal at the supermarket. Yes, that day of love that reminds us all of our loved ones… and for some like myself, loved ones we don’t have. Happy Single Awareness Day (SAD) to us! And to all of you other lucky people, Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤

*

Every year, it is tradition for me to write a song for Valentine’s day. Surprise surprise, it usually reflects my relationship status at the time. This year, like two years ago, I celebrate Single Awareness Day. Two years ago, I wrote my first Single Awareness Day song ever, and this year, I decided to remake it. To reflect my current situation of course.

After continuously being in and out of relationships for the past few years, I since November have told myself that enough is enough. I ended whatever the last guy and I had and decided to focus on myself. So far so good I must say. Last time I checked I’m still single.

Since November, I told myself that before someone else enters my life, I want to know for myself that I am where I exactly want to be. I can’t focus on my journey fully if I have someone else’s life to think about. But until then, I can dream about Mr. Perfect right?

In 2014, I wrote the original version of Single Awareness Day together with my friends, after we had a daydreaming session of our perfect guy. So the original song is a collaboration with my single friends and I. This year for this remake, I once again asked my friends for contributions and this is the result. Here is the Single Awareness Day remake for 2016, hope you guys like it!

My previous Valentine’s Day songs:

2015: Valentine
2014: Single Awareness Day – the original version of this song which I sang with Hana, do watch it! 🙂
2013: You 
2012: A song for you – my Valentine’s day songwriting tradition was born!

Enjoy! 😀

Lyrics & Chords

Single Awareness Day 2016

Capo 5
Verses: C F G
Chorus and outro: C G Am F

Verse 1:
I know it’s a little sad to say, but yes I am alone today
The day of love, Valentine’s or
Single Awareness Day

I’d like to think that I know why, coz I know I’m not that shy
Then I thought and realised that hey,
I’m just waiting for the right guy

Chorus 1:
I want a guy who aims for the stars but keeps his feet on the ground
He will hold me close at night, make sure I’m safe and sound

I want a guy who can sing me to sleep
I want a guy for me to keep
Through thick and thin, or when I fall, he will be there through it all

Verse 2:
I know I’ve moved, lived here and there, was there noone anywhere?
Or maybe it was me who felt that hey,
I’m simply not yet there

Maybe I needed time to see, that I’m okay just being with me
But when I meet him then I’ll see that he’ll
Make me a better me

Chrous 2:
I want a guy I can cry on his shoulder, when the times get rough
He will help me stand up tall, on days I’ve had enough

I want a guy who will kiss my hand, I want a guy who can understand
The way I am, the things I say
He will love me anyway, he will love me anyway

Outro:
I want a guy who will make me smile
I want a guy who’ll make it all worthwhile
I want a guy who will hold my hand, through the times it’s hard to stand

I want a guy who’ll be there for me
I want a guy who will care for me
I want a guy who will look at me and say, who cares about Valentine’s day
I’ll love you everyday

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